Monday, October 11, 2010

On being a mood writer and generally feeling negative

Negative.  That’s exactly how I’m feeling about my writing today.  I think it’s more the bad stuff that’s been happening in and around my life lately that’s influencing how I feel about my work.  And that I haven’t had a proper vacation in almost a year.

The other day I was randomly typing away at my new WIP when I thought about what I’ve done so far, and wow, it’s totally depressing.  I still like it and won’t change the tone, but I guess it’s true that your mood can definitely creep into and show in your work.  Maybe I’m a mood writer, if I can use the term loosely.  How great it must be to write something that leaves the reader as depressed as you were at that time.  In a good way of course.

When I compare LOI to my current WIP the difference in tone/mood is very clear.  I had a lot of fun writing LOI and can’t wait to get started with number two.  The new WIP is more serious for me and deals with issues I haven’t dealt with myself.  Who knows, maybe by the end of it I’ll have come to terms with it, somehow I doubt it.

And if that isn’t enough, I’m having the regular doubts about LOI as well.  Again.  Is it good enough?  Will I ever be able to make something of it?  Have I wasted my time?  I know I haven’t but I can’t help thinking it.  I think what gets me down the most is looking at my hard copy whenever I do edits and seeing all the red and blue scratches on every single page.  If you could see what it looks like I’m sure you would be depro right alongside me.  I think I just need motivation and encouragement and I’m just not getting enough it.  Or I’m not looking and listening close enough to see and hear it.  Either way, it is what it is.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not giving up on either projects, I might just have misplaced my enthusiasm for LOI and need to find it.  My guess is that it’s hiding at the end of the 2nd draft/rewrite.  Maybe I just miss my characters.  I haven’t been spending enough time with them.  Good enough excuse.

Enough whining for one evening.  This will go away by the end of the week.  Back to those depressing edits.  Hope you guys have a better time of it.

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