Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Fiery Vanity

Here's my entry for the first campaign challenge.  Since I like a challenge I ended with the words 'the door swung shut' and did it in exactly 200 words. I'm proud.

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Fiery Vanity


The door swung open and the last thing Ava expected to see was little flowerpots filled with fiery blossoms scattered throughout a dilapidated dining room.
Rumor had it that swallowing one of the flower-like flames whole could turn any girl from homely to comely.  She had yet to hear of anybody surviving such an attempt without scars.
All she needed was one blossom to trade with the witch.  And what would be important enough for somebody of Ava’s standing to risk one of these minute flowers exploding and setting everything around it, herself included, alight with fire?
Hair of course!
Ava reached up and touched the dull, mousy brown strands that hung limply around her shoulders, and took a step towards the pot standing on a table, careful of the one at her feet. She dug around her cluttered skirt pocket, withdrawing scissors and a small jar.
With it, unknown, came an errant coin and she watched with horror as it fell towards the pot on the floor in slow motion.  Ava raced for the door as the tips of her hair caught fire.
So much for prettier hair. The fire roared out of control as the door swung shut. 

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Hope you guys liked it!  If you did, a vote(entry 255) would be nice. Just saying.

27 comments:

  1. Love it! Makes me want to know more about this mini world you've created! :)

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  2. A fire blossom that can improve someone's appearance? Gold. Pure gold, right there. Sounds like something I would write, but you beat me too it. Great story, Jani! :)

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  3. Love your imagination! Of course the cost of beauty would be scars...I really enjoyed this!

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  4. Thank you so much guys! I appreciate it. It was fun writing this.

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  5. Loved it! I could really picture everything! Awesome job! (I'm a new follower by the way!)
    I'm entry #235

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  6. Loved the introduction of the flower. Great job!

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  7. Really liked this! The idea of a fire flower that can make you beautiful but give you scars as well.

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  8. Thanks Jess. I'll go read your entry and follow as well.

    Alicia,Sonia, I think the flower is my favorite thing of this piece.

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  9. Brilliant, love how it backfired (pardon the pun) on her!

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  10. Claire, I thought it a pretty fitting ending for her. Love the pun.

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  11. Hey! Great concept. Loved the story. Off to follow your blog...

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  12. Wow how imaginative! Excellent concept.

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  13. Fantastic. I think you captured a good bit of today's society in this one - intended or not! Nice job.

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  14. Very intriguing, wanted to read more. ; )

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  15. Wow, thanks Jessica, Beth, Tara and Sheri. You guys rock!

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  16. Ahh the Hair! I think I'd be tempted too. nice job. Mine is #72

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  17. Very interesting little story! Good job!!

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  18. Magic! I'd love to read the rest of this story.

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  19. Bridget, Ruth, MC, thanks for the comments. Glad you enjoyed it.

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  20. This pulled me in and didn't let go. Even after the door shut. Great piece.

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  21. I find it so funny that we both had Avas in our flash-fiction who got themselves into trouble, haha. I really enjoyed your piece. =)

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  22. Thanks Angelina, I appreciate it.

    Leah, Ava is a name that seems to attract trouble. We love that, right?

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  23. Fiery blossoms that bring beauty? I love it! So imaginative, and plenty of humor woven through the story. Although as someone with mousy, limp, brown hair, I do sympathize with Ava, and I've sometimes thought the bald look might be an improvement!

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  24. Jocelyn, I used to have mousy hair as well. Then I discovered hair color and the rest is history. I feel your and Ava's pain.

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  25. What a good story! Kind of reminds me of a Grimms brothers fairy tale. Very well done.

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  26. F.E, thank you. Strange, this was a totally different POV from what I usually write but it was fun.

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