I'm entering another of Brenda Drake's contests. Can You Hit A Perfect Pitch? Blog contest with agent Ammi-Joan Paquette. Good luck to everybody entering. Can't wait to read your entries.
I'm pretty okay with my first 159 words but I desperately need help with the pitch. Mine sucks! It's a twitter pitch that I expanded. So have at it.
Updated Pitch: While fighting for her own survival, Kaila must keep the people around her safe from a murderer who constantly changes faces. To stop the killing, Kaila has to deliver something she doesn’t know or have.
First 159 words:
The cold steel of the knife cutting into my side was what made me realize this was really happening.
I stared down at the crimson stain as it spread through the white shirt I wore, frozen with shock. To think I’d originally come here to ask forgiveness for not making it in time, knowing I wouldn’t have been able to do anything anyway. I needed to apologize.
His name was Landon, and the way he looked at me, like I wasn’t really there, made my heart beat faster with fear. He took a step back and dropped the steak knife to the floor. The blade, painted red, made a mess where it landed. Flecks of blood splattered this jeans and sneakers.
“You were the closest. You should have saved him,” Landon said with cold detachment while wiping a stained hand down the side of his jeans. “My best friend is dead and somebody has to take responsibility for it.”